Wednesday, May 27, 2015

Paul's Nursery

The other morning (at 3 AM) I was pretty tired. I looked down at this sweet face and I said a prayer of thankfulness that I have a baby that can nurse at 3 AM. These are two things that I was extremely worried about for the past few months. I didn't know if I would ever have a baby to live in this nursery again. After finding out about Paul's cleft lip, I didn't know if he would even be able to nurse. We had all of the special bottles cleaned and ready to go, just in case, but he nurses like a champ! We are incredibly thankful to have this sweet boy in our lives and to have a reason to redo this nursery that used to be a symbol of the emptiness that we felt after Henry's passing.


Since it was a symbol of emptiness and held so many sad feelings for us, we needed to revamp the room a bit to give it a fresh new feeling. I had based the old nursery on a blanket I found at Target that had navy blue, aqua, orange, and red in it. I put that blanket in our hope chest and took out all of the navy blue accents around the room. I decided that navy was Henry's color and Paul needed something different. I found a new blanket at Target that was white with different colored polka dots (gray, red, aqua, orange, and green). It also had a matching changing pad and crib sheet, so I snatched them up. I really wanted to keep the walls gray, so I liked that the blanket had gray too.


A more accurate picture of the wall color.

You might recognize the monogram idea from Henry's nursery. I bought all new letters and did them in orange instead of navy.
I really like my tool box diaper caddy. We did this for Mack (and for Henry). It has everything you need and you can carry it around the house if you decide to change a diaper in the living room.  






 This is Paul's adorable crib that he never sleeps in. We did a great job of getting Mack to sleep in his crib from early on. Paul loves to sleep in his Rock N' Play, which is at least in his room. The picture used to be in Mack's room above his changing table. The bumpers are what I ordered for Henry, but I paired it with a new sheet. The blanket is fleece fabric that I added satin trim to while I was pregnant with Paul.

They say a good chair is hard to find. Or maybe that's a man. Well, a good man will buy you a good chair while you're pregnant or nursing! This chair is so stinking comfortable. It's a charcoal gray microfiber. It rocks, swivels, and reclines. I have actually already slept the whole night in this chair and it wasn't bad at all. We had a super cute orange chair for Mack and Henry's nursery that had belonged to my husband's grandmother. I ended up selling it because I needed something designed for a 6 foot tall person instead of a teeny person. I really like that when we're finished with needing a rocker in the nursery, this chair will blend with our living room and we can replace one of our older chairs with this one.

These are Paul's give, save, spend jars. I used my cricut this time and I liked how they turned out! I especially love the piggy bank.

We had tons of Mack's old baby toys. Even though Paul isn't quite ready to play with these, it turned out to be a great idea to put them in the nursery. Mack likes to play in this corner while I'm nursing Paul or changing a diaper. He shows little brother how to play with the different toys and I think it makes him feel like the big man on campus that he has mastered every toy! 
A $5 Walmart bucket, transformed with some vinyl, holds Paul's stuffed animals nicely. We love this little lamb chair. It was recommended by another cleft lip mom to use during the day for the post-op period since the baby needs to be kept in an inclined position for about 2 weeks.



Paul's closet and the door to the hallway. It is so nice to have a clock where you can see it when you're nursing. The clock was hanging in Henry's nursery, but I had never put a battery in it. It's crazy how emotional it can be to put a battery in a silly clock! Sometimes it was difficult to allow myself to anticipate a live birth and to actually prepare real things like putting batteries in, putting the Rock N' Play together, or putting wipes in the wipes box. I learned after we lost Henry that memories of preparation and anticipation are very important, even if something happens that you never could have anticipated. I am so thankful for those memories with Henry of preparing his room, and I'm thankful that I allowed myself to actually prepare a room for Paul instead of waiting for his birth. I think it was important for the healing and transition processes.

We are so thankful to God for blessing us with a healthy baby boy who got to come home to his nursery!

Wednesday, January 28, 2015

Cleft Lip and Long Femurs

We have been seeing the high risk doctors with this pregnancy due to our previous stillbirth. They're calling it "increased surveillance." On Monday I had a routine ultrasound just for the increased surveillance of it, and they discovered that baby Paul has a cleft lip. Paul is like his daddy and doesn't look at the camera when you're trying to take a picture of him, so it made it hard for the ultrasound tech to collect good images of his lips and palate. They tried for a very long time to verify that he did have cleft lip, but in the end, he never turned his head around and we had to leave with only a 90% chance that he had it. They told us to come back Wednesday for another scan and they would check again.

Today, we went back for another scan and he actually looked at the camera! We confirmed that he does have cleft lip on one side but we could not get good images of his palate.  We're thankful that it's only on one side and we're hoping it won't extend very far into his palate, although the doctor said there is usually palate involvement in cases like this.

Of course nobody wants to learn that something is wrong with their child, especially after losing another child. We were kind of shocked that we hadn't discovered it until 28 weeks (he always hid his face and had his hand by his chin). But, as far as physical problems with a fetus go, this is a pretty good one to have because you can generally repair the problem with surgeries after birth. We know it's probably going to be a long road of surgery, consults with a variety of specialists, and nursing/feeding problems, but we are just so thankful to have a road to go down with our little boy!

We are incredibly thankful to live in the Chattanooga area where we have a great craniofacial team that is known all over the country/world. We are also thankful to have some friends as resources who have gone down similar roads with their children.

Just in case you were wondering, I have never smoked, had alcohol, done drugs, or failed to take my prenatal vitamins, folic acid, or go to regular OB visits. I guess you could say I've done everything "by the book." From what I've read, the baby's lip/palate is already formed between weeks 3-9 of pregnancy. Since we were planning this pregnancy, I was doing everything "right" even back then! Sometimes you can do all the right things and the lips and palate still don't meet in the middle. Sometimes you can do all the right things, and your baby is stillborn.

In other baby news, baby Paul's growth percentile was 97%! His abdominal circumference was only in the 67th%. They said it went all the way from 67-97% after they measured his crazy long femurs! So, at least he'll be able to round-house kick people in the face if they make fun of his lip. And even if he can't, his momma can kick them with her crazy long femurs :)

<-femurs


Please keep us in your prayers still. We are so thankful for the people who have already been praying!

Isaiah 41:10
"So do not fear, for I am with you;
  do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you;
  I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."